JUNE 6

1939 Tuesday – We didn’t get up to go to the alumnae breakfast – But went to graduation at 10:30 – barely made it… It was so very hot… I dread next year… in a way… Marg + I celebrated and had lunch down town… Started to place “stars” on walk – Mr. Eide + I had ice cream tonight after not working.

1940 10:30 Managed to work up a little ambition – cleaned the house this afternoon – washed a slug of clothes… D.J. + some gals just came after me + we went out by Neptune. Gee, I hope I get to go out there pretty soon… Germany seems to be winning the war… I have 3 jobs tomorrow!

1941 Fri Wow what a night – rain – mud – cold – tourist cabin – babies - .

1942 Sat Oh God… I’m fed up with me… No Guts… no independence… Can’t bear the whole evening alone with myself. – Thomas Mann C’est Fin.

1943 SUN (DAMN – HURT MY BACK again…) HAD DINNER WITH SPITZNAGEL’S AT Longchamp’s! FUN. THEY WERE GOING TO ZIEGFIELD FOLLIES; I TOOK Herman TO FRED ALLEN’S BROADCAST, WHICH WAS VERY FUNNY. HAVEN’T WRITTEN TO Leonard YET, BUT TO Mother… GOT BURNED

JUNE 5

1939 Monday Felt pretty lousy this morning – Tried to sleep – but no go. – I decided to go down town this aft. – Put on my plaid shirt – felt better. Ray + I + Kenny + Marg went to the ballgame… It was fun. Marg is staying all night with me – her folks are gone

1940 Relapse – slept intermittently all day… about 4:00 went down town on dry deal for “Shopping News” (map) – should rate 10 or 15… I hope I can synchronize it – the Carpenter job okay… Then went out to collitch (subconsciously in search of Leonard) saw the cases – crazy, artsy, marvelous!

1941 Thur Sleeping with Eleanor. – I feel so sort of crushed. Don’t know why I should. but I do – Hell.

1942 Fri I get a date + then Haakenson + John come over + establish residence! I got them to call up D.J. + Peggy + we sat on the porch + then went + looked at the faces.

1943 SAT Moved most of my stuff over this afternoon. (Donna Brown is an awfully sweet kid) Won’t sleep there until tomorrow night, though. Hope this deal will work out okay… Hogan is here to see Mickey. We went to dinner + a movie – Lily Mars. The ensign was over.

JUNE 4

1939 Sunday – Grim – I should feel relieved that I’m all through – It’s been long + hard though – I’m pretty messed up – lost 5 pounds (which I’m thankful for) Ray didn’t call – I waited on the front porch – I don’t especially care

1940 WED 12:15 I don’t feel radically different after this morning – just terribly numb and depressed and sort of lost…, knowing that college – the integral 4 years of it – are over for me… Augustana has given me something fine + hard + real that I hope I have the sense to hang on to! … Nothing “happened” today – just exasperating innuendos… Mr. Spitz, etc. took me to dinner new job

1941 Wed Bill + I went to the races… It was the most fun I’ve had here… We “made” our way out of winnings. We won $8.80  on “Little Red Fox” – H’m, I’m just psychic!

1942 11:45 D.J. + I intended to go to Saboteur – went out to school – assimilated Leonard, Bill, Harold + R. H. #. Cokes at the Palace. Donna + I had hamburgers + talked afterwards. Another Art Student today… Heard from Emil and Dick. We all wrote Emil

1943 FRI 1:00 When I came in (after a Kosher dinner and Cabin in the Sky and a nauseous hour on Riverside with Herman) here was a tender white Magnolia Bud from Leonard… How can I love him so much? And a lovely letter this A.M. 

JUNE 3

1939 Saturday Our house is certainly Bedlam on Saturdays – but its fun – hair, cloth. washing, cooking, getting ready to go out, etc. – Tonight about 20 couples had a dinner-dance – I was too tired to have much fun –

1940 1:30 all the time, I keep thinking about Leonard… if he meant what he wrote… if he did, why he hasn’t done something about it… if he is too young, etc., etc. – Class day this morning… sweltering… Senior gals ate lunch down town… went to lousy banquet w. Spence

1941 11:00 RAIN! WELL, AFTER HECTIC STUFF, WE (US FAMILY) ARE FINALLY COMPARATIVELY PEACEFULL – WE SLUFFED AROUND FIELD’S THIS AFTERNOON. HAD HELLUVA TIME GETTING SETTLED FOR DINNER –

1942 Wed Oh God – FRUSTRATION – complete DISSATISFACTION WITH MYSELF… Knowing WHAT… started classes today… faculty meeting – John asked me for a date

1943 Thurs It was a warm New York day. Met Barbara Stern for Lunch. Felt sleepy for a while… better then. Spitz called; he was tired – ha. Lois just called. I think we’ll move this week-end! – Gee, hope it works!

 

JUNE 2

1939 Friday – Ray came after me. What a day – Waited for Mr. Eide to help me all morning + couldn’t work this aft, because of Electrician, etc. Tonight Mr. Eide + the fellows shot pictures while I was “working”

1940 11:00 I’m not waiting up for the 12 o’ clock plane tonight… I’m really tired – I guess its relief setting in… it was Baccalaureate this A.M…. Granskow gave a perfectly marv talk – it seems to epitomize for me what has been trying to come through for 4 yrs.

1941 10:30 CHICAGO – MOTHER + I WERE LAZY THIS MORNING LAY IN BED IN TALKED BEFORE WE WENT OUT GALAVANTING… I TOLD HER ABOUT LEONARD + SHE WAS VERY UNDERSTANDING… I ONLY WISH I’D “TALKED” TO HER BEFORE –

1942 Tues 11:30 Bob + I cleaned up the Art Room He got his reclarification – Letter from Lefty. We heard from Emil John, Bob + I went to La Purchase this aft. .. Wasted this Evening

1943 Wed 3:00 Fun la! – Astor Roof – Harry James – with Mr. Spitznagel. – called this morning – what a guy. (he always seems vaguely preoccupied though) Then we went up + sat on the R.C.A. roof + talked, felt cool + lovely… Went to Village Vanguard… Leadbelly, chanteuse, etc. We walked + walked. 

JUNE 1

1939 12:30 Thursday did Garbo + Marxes to-day. – people kept popping in; but it was quiet-er than usual – I think Mr. Spitznagel is swell.

1940 1:00 This morning I felt the same agonizing anticipation that a five year old feels about Christmas… The Books are terribly close to the way I “dreamed” them. It is one of the Biggest things that’s ever happened to me. We had our dinner at C. Shop… Spence + I saw W. Bridge. I’ll never forget Leonard.

1941 12:30 AND HERE WE ALL ARE IN CHICAGO… HAVEN’T SEEN ELEANOR – YET – STARTED ABOUT 6:00 THIS MORNING – GOT IN ABOUT 10:00 – I DROWSED AND THOUGHT ABOUT LEONARD – GEE, HE’S GOING TO COMPLICATE MY LIFE, I’M AFRAID – BUT WHO WANTS MERELY SERENITY? –

1942 Mon Registered 5 Art stoonts… Rilly don’t want to teach Summer School very long… Then What? ? ? – Bill + Leonard, Peggy came over – Then John + Bob!… We got D.J. – Some fun.

1943 Tues – Gee, I’m a wreck. Felt awful most of the day… typed like crazy on those fool radio scripts for Mrs. S. Feel very monosyllabic. Didn’t get to Donna’s Graduation, I hate subways.